This first method has been in use for quite a while since it works so well. We have a “stoplight” picture on our wall near the kitchen table, along with a paperclip that moves to align with the green, yellow, or red circles. To the side we’ve written three rules: Be kind, Stay in your seat, Use an inside voice.
When the children arrive at the table (just Sam, in this case), the paperclip is on green. When a rule is broken, they are warned; if another rule is broken, the paperclip is moved to the yellow circle, and a child is asked to leave the table for a few minutes until he/she is invited to return.
If the prodigal child offends again, the snack or meal is over for her/him(yes, even if they haven’t eaten much). When we first started this, I found myself saying, “We’ll be sure to have a big breakfast in the morning.” (Sam almost never gets sent away at any other meal, but she’s tired at dinner).
Anyway, this saved us a lot of frustration in our house from saying, “Sit down please; come back to the table please,” etc, etc. She hasn’t been sent away in a while.